Friday thoughts

Well, I am still unhappy with my current job so I am hopeful that I can get moving in another direction. I actually submitted a questionnaire to Prudential and got a positive response, basically saying I would do well in the field. That gives me encouragement to commit to going for my real estate license when I get the 600 from the government. I was feeling guilty that I should pay bills or fix something around the house. I also want to find a side job in the accounting field. I hope to install quickbooks and get some experience using this program and then I can offer my services for a small fee to pick up extra cash. (extra?...hah)

I am also unhappy with me personally. I look in the mirror and dont know who I am looking at anymore. I seem to have lost me somewhere. It seems silly but I dont look and act like I used to and I dont think it has to do with age. I have great ideas and know what I SHOULD do but have yet to 'just do it'. Why? I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the bright side, I am getting my dining room set finally with the help of Chris and Ryan. It will be wonderful to have a family dinner on Ryan's birthday. We are long overdue for one. This will give me the motivation to fix up around the house. It does seem when no one is coming over, I feel it isnt necessary to do anything. This, of course, is not fair to me and Ryan. We both deserve to live in better conditions. I guess I really dont believe that though or I would be doing something about it. I think, no I know, I tend to overextend myself so I get stressed on having too much to do. I think I need to eliminate some responsibilities to make life a little easier....now I just have to make the decision on what to eliminate. I am not good at making decisions. Why? I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh well, I am at work and just needed to vent to myself.....to be continued.................................